


Road to Redemption

by Peppermint_candies



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Eventually Skyeward, Grant Ward dealing with his actions, I don't know what else to tag.., Redemption, Slow Redemption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2292227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peppermint_candies/pseuds/Peppermint_candies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Redemption.</p>
<p>It’s a word he keeps hearing all around him people keep saying it to him. But it’s hard because what if he doesn’t want the redemption what if he really wants to sit in a cell for the rest of his life to pay for his crimes.</p>
<p>He sighs loudly as a third person says the word redemption too him. He look across the table to the doctor and wonders why they are still there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **So this originally was just gonna be a one shot...**
> 
> **But I'm thinking of expanding it at some point...**
> 
> **There is a partial chapter written on my phone that I'll get around to posting...**

Redemption.

It’s a word he keeps hearing all around him people keep saying it to him. But it’s hard because what if he doesn’t want the redemption what if he really wants to sit in a cell for the rest of his life to pay for his crimes.

He sighs loudly as a third person says the word redemption too him. He look across the table to the doctor and wonders why they are still there.

"Stop." He says finally as they get back to talking about redemption. "I don’t want to hear any more redemption stuff."

"But…"

"Let me redeem myself by doing my time in Jail." He says quietly he’d rather that then face the team again and deal with their looks of betrayal.

"I’m afraid that’s not up to you Agent Ward."

"Not an agent…" He mutters. How could he still be an agent to Shield if he turned his back on them to follow Garrett? How could they ever trust him to be an agent of Shield again when they know he could lie for years.

He doesn’t know what to think or do as the doctor finally gives up and leaves.

He likes his solitude much better. Here he’s alone no one to talk to, no one to bother. He thinks a lot. About what he’s done who he’s hurt.

Coulson apparently demanded that he know what happening with Fitz with every new visit. So far it isn’t anything new and Ward knows that its not looking good for him.

Wishing the younger man would wake up because it makes him feel guilty. That pod was suppose to float. FitzSimmons was suppose to be fine a few bruises at the most not one fighting for his life.

It upsets him the more he thinks about it and the more he thinks about it the more the rage he’s tried so hard to control get’s harder to control.

He doesn’t punch the walls because he know that’s be seen as an escape attempt instead he smashes his fist into the table making it sag down the middle.

Two fist marks permanently dented in and his hands hurt but he ignores it because the pain he feels here isn’t worse than when he found out about FitzSimmons.

He was suppose to protect them. All of them and he failed that. He cared enough to want to protect them, he tried so hard to protect them. In the end it wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough for them.

-

His thoughts slowly change from how he failed FitzSimmons and the team to Skye and how she’ll never speak to him again.

Well he only assumes she’ll never speak to him again. He’s done some pretty terrible things and she knows. He knows she’ll probably never give him a time of day ever again and he’s okay with that. It makes it easier on him when he thinks back on how he lost her. He’s rather her hate him than try to be friends. It’s complicate things.

He loves her more than he ever care to admit but he tried so hard to keep her safe and be the man he was with the team. That man would admit his crimes and would accept the punishments. He knows that. That man would let everything go for the sake of letting the team move on.

Which he does. It’s hard being the man he wanted to be. But he is trying. He’d rathe give them up than have them taken from him.

He cut ties for many reasons mainly because Coulson threatened to use them against him and he knows Coulson would. Mainly because Coulson threatened him if he ever tried something this stupid ever again.

Of course he knew now what Coulson meant and he doesn’t want to let them be here. He doesn’t want them to be force to deal with the fact he’s screwed up their lives.

To be honest if he was to allow only one person aside from Coulson to visit him it’d be May.

He knows the second she’s in the room she’s probably try to snap his neck. She is protective of her team and he’s glad. He’s probably welcome her breaking his neck to be honest he deserves that.

But it doesn’t happen the only person from the team that visits is the director himself.

It’s rare to see him though. He comes and goes. Which Grant can understand Coulson is in charge of Shield.

He also knows he’s only really kept around for information. Not that there is much he could supply but he tries.

-

It’s five years and nine months before he’s released from prison which is odd. He’s pretty sure the charges against him warrant at least life in prison for some. But he doesn’t argue. It takes to much time and effort to put into that.

Instead he’s greeted by Coulson at the end if the prison hallway and he wonders if its not an release but an execution.

"Grant Douglas Ward, you are not to come anywhere near my team or agency ever again. You have information you think can help you call me directly." Coulson says sternly and Grant realizes what’s happening. He’s being let go to fend for himself in the world.

He’s kinda overjoyed he’s being kicked out. It’s easier that way. He doesn’t mind that all his papers will say dishonorable discharge. Because he was dishonorable.

"Fitz?" He asks quietly before he’s kicked out of the place.

"Doing better." Coulson says before he lets Ward leave. They don’t bother to keep him from seeing where Shield is based now. Ward think Coulson wants him to remember what he’s given up.

-

It takes him a little while but he finds a place in a little hole in the wall diner in the middle of no where. It’s perfect for him.

He doesn’t talk much about his past here and no one asks. They just accept him. He’s not truly happy here but he can put on a face and pretend until he goes home for the day.

He’s glad the locals don’t mind him and his scars but he hears the stories as he hides in the kitchen of the diner. It’s not hard to over hear.

He wishes so much that he could disappear somedays but then he realizes he can’t there are not enough people in the kitchen of this place to keep the place running.

He keeps his head down and out of people’s business when he’s in town. It’s the last thing he needs.

But today at this diner something is different they locals get quiet and he peaks through the window between the kitchen and dining room.

His heart sinks when he sees why. They are standing there. All of them including Fitz which makes him feel a little better. But it still makes his heart sink even more as he realizes all the wait staff had collectively chose to take their break.

Forcing him to leave the kitchen he doesn’t say anything as they all sit down. He prays that they won’t ask him questions other than how food is.

But leave it to Skye to see him first and frown.

"What are you doing here?" She snaps.

He feels ice cold as he watches them all look and realize its him. “Working…” He says quietly. “Is there something I can get you to drink?”

He pretends the glares don’t hurt but to be honest Jemma’s hurts the most. But he understands she almost lost her best friend due to him. “Can you get us a new waiter?” Skye snaps and Coulson sighs.

"I’m sorry I’m the only one on waitstaff right now… They are short people." Ward says but he stops looking at them. "Drinks?"

"Coffee." Coulson finally says and May seconds it. The others just glare and don’t say anything. He stands awkwardly hating how its drawing attention to him. "Go a head and fill those orders…" Coulson says as he realizes the three others won’t say a word.

Ward can only nod and leave the table quietly. He takes it upon himself to fix them all drinks anyways. He knows how FitzSimmons takes their tea and he he knows which sodas Skye loves.

When he comes back to the table he doesn’t say anything as he places the drinks in front of their respective drinkers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s tough trying to work a table that half wont speak to him. But he gets it, he did kinda ruin part of their life. Maybe even all of it. So he doesn’t blame them when he stands and asks for their order and its met with a silence that even leaves the locals unsettled.

It’s tough trying to work a table that half wont speak to him. But he gets it, he did kinda ruin part of their life. Maybe even all of it. So he doesn’t blame them when he stands and asks for their order and its met with a silence that even leaves the locals unsettled.

When Coulson finally speaks its all Grant could do not to smile. Which as the table progressed and Skye’s snarky comment made all his moment of content disappear. He doesn’t even look up as she orders and he gives the smallest nod possible.

He feels so small despite his six foot three stature. He know that at the rate everything is happening right now he’ll end up home feeling far more insecure than he did that morning.

"For you?" He asks Fitz and perhaps the way Fitz flinches makes him feel even worse than Skye’s snark. He hates how awkward this is for him and for them.

As Fitz orders he spots another wait staff slowly peaking around the corner and he doesn’t care if he has to give up a weeks pay for them to take over because this is already awkward and tense and he feels bad for the locals who can feel the tension.

By the time the others order he’s pretty sure the entire place is just aware of his totally awkwardness. He glances around the other tables and sees on of the older ladies smile at him.

He gives the smallest smile back before heading her way. “Hi Miss Maybelle, what can I get you?” He asks quietly almost shyly.

The little elderly woman smiles at him and holds her coffee cup up. “A little more coffee would be wonderful James”

He nodded. “Comming right up Miss Maybelle.”

"And James sweetheart I don’t know what that group has against you but your a mighty fine cook and haven’t done a single thing wrong here." Miss Maybelle says loudly and a few other voices mumbled in agreement.

"Thank you Miss Maybelle but I’m not all that a good person you make me out to be." He says with the softest smile he can manage before turning away.

As he heads back to behind the counter he grabs the coffee pot from its station before heading back over to the elderly woman.

“You are good sweetheart.” Miss Maybelle says and he doesn’t argue with her over it because honestly the little confidence boost doesn’t help him much but he stops once last time at Coulson’s table to top his and May’s coffee off.

Placing the coffee pot back he quickly disappears into the kitchen. “Take over my table.” He says to the one waitress standing in the back. “They requested a different waiter. Please.”

"Whatever. The feds right?" The waitress says with a sigh.

"Yeah them…"

* * *

 

He stays hidden in the kitchen and he can hear the awkward air disappears as the team gets a new waitress.

Having Coulson drop by the backdoor at his break makes him nervous but he hadn’t broken any of the rules set for him. He had no clue the team would show up to his hole in the wall job.

"I won’t take action against you here because we had no clue you’d be here." Coulson says and it makes Ward feel a little better but not by much. "They are still sore about everything."

"You don’t have to make excuses for them sir… They can hate me all they want… Its probably better that way…" Grant says quietly. He honestly doesn’t blame them.

Coulson looks him over for the first time and really looks. He finds the shell of a man he once knew, and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Now all he sees is the broken man who’s accepted his punishment.

"You should probably get back… They’ll come looking…" Grant murmurs glancing at the front of the building. "I’ll see you next week…" He adds quietly. He knows check in is soon if Coulson is at least around.

"Yeah… I’ll see you next week…" Coulson replies before turning around.

* * *

 

He’s surprised but he isn’t as Coulson find his place instead of meeting at the original check-in location. “Sir.” He murmurs looking carefully at him. He watches as Coulson looks around his little piece of land.

"Nice place." Coulson say nodding towards the small house.

"Fixed it myself…" Grant mumbles looking at the plain looking house he’s  lived in for the past couple of months. "It’s still not done… Part of the roof still leaks… and parts of the back are still need to be dry walled…"

Coulson glances back at him and he stops talking. He feels kind of stupid for continuing to ramble. “It looks nice so far… How?”

"What little money I could scrap up from odd end jobs… I used the money you gave me to leave to purchase it… They original owner was willing to take anything for it when I came into town… I spend whatever time I’m not at the diner here…"

"I’ve heard… One of your diner patrons hunted me down before we left last week… Told me all about how good of a guy you were."

"Miss Maybelle… probably… She’s protective of the staff…" Grant say quietly with a smile. "She see the good in everyone."

It was hard for him to see how anyone could still see any good in him still. He stopped believing what people said about him being good ever since Skye told him she’d never give him what he wanted.

He couldn’t see how anyone didn’t see him as anything but a monster. But he wondered if they really knew who he was or what he’d done if they’d treat him the same.

Sighing softly he nodded towards the house. “Would you like to come it?” He asks quietly. He knew better than to even accept Coulson was here only months after his release to say he’s free and clear to do what he pleases.

Coulson nodded before looking back at the house. “Why not.”

Taking a deep breath before turning back to his door. He knew better than to offer for Coulson to go first. The distrust still poured out of him.

"I could get you some coffee… or Tea…"

"Coffee is fine." Coulson replies before looking over Grant’s house.

* * *

 

It was bare and lacked an real furnishings except for a mismatched couch and chairs in what Coulson assumed was the living room and a mattress on the floor of another front room with a dresser up against a door.

"Sir." Grant said quietly holding out a chipped coffee mug. "I figured you’d look around… It’s not much…"

"What’s behind the dresser?"

"Dog… Thing’s protective… Put the dresser in front of the door just in case we came here… I figured you wouldn’t want to leave with dog bites."

"Thing?"

"His name… It’s Thing…" Grant shrugged.


End file.
